


The Cycle

by nightlyroses



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bullying, Child Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8166613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightlyroses/pseuds/nightlyroses
Summary: A girl is hurt. She hurts a boy. This is the story of them healing together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first piece posted on Archives of Our Own. I have other works posted on FanFiction.net, which I may or may not post on here as well.

The platform is crammed with families of magic, Muggle, and mixture. Children race around as they reunite with old friends while teens congregate and talk about their past summer. The two famous families meet and ignore the gawking looks they're used to seeing. And then there's her.

A young girl with olive skin and long dark hair hugs her father tightly for as long as she can until the train whistle blows. The man bends down and whispers something into her ear before both look at the hard-faced woman with them. The woman aims a fierce glare at the shaking girl before she impatiently taps her heeled shoes on the platform floor. With a sigh the man kisses his daughter good-bye and watches as she climbs aboard without a second glance. Away from her mother at last.

The girl pulls her trunk along behind her through the corridor, ignoring the kids pushing past her and the chatter that constantly surrounds her. Near the end of the train, she finds a blond boy with a pale face and grey eyes talking excitedly with a green-eyed black-haired boy. Her friend. She shoves the door open and enters with a muttered greeting under her breath. The blond smiles and waves warmly while the black-haired boy looks up at her curiously. Sitting across from them, she makes short introductions with the black-haired boy.

“Hello.”

“Hi! I'm Albus Potter! Who're you?”

She stiffens at his surname. He's the son of the Chosen One. Harry Potter. An ideal parent to have. Good expectations were coming his way every moment. He probably never had a hand laid on him in his life. In other words, this boy had a much better life than she did. Even better than Scorpius, who suffered from DESS (Death Eater Spawn Syndrome).

“Alexa Zabini.”

And that was the only thing she ever said the whole train ride.

 

She's Sorted into Slytherin that night. So is Scorpius and even Albus Potter, much to her chagrin. The last thing she wants was to see a Potter strutting around in her house overflowing with perfection, arrogance, and who knows what else. A Potter in the same house as her will just be rubbing in the fact that her home life is absolutely one of the worst. She can't take that reminder when she just escaped, albeit for only a few months. She has to bring him down a notch. If her mother can do it, so can she.

 

He doesn't understand why she is doing this to him. It hurts so much. It's even worse than the gaping and whispering and the awe-struck looks he had gotten before being Sorted into Slytherin. Now he's been shut out by practically everyone in his family and this girl is picking on him. Why is she being so mean to him? He never did anything to her. But there's a hatred within her that's directed towards him – and only him. It's why Scorpius is no longer friends with her. It's why Rose sets aside her distaste for Scorpius so they can stand by him. It's why Rose gets detention every month for cursing her. It's why –

It's why the once-sensitive and kind son of Harry Potter slowly and gradually becomes a cold and detached loner who freezes out everyone except his only friend and his favourite cousin.

 

“ _Hey, Potter!”_

“ _What?”_

“ _You should really comb your hair! Birds might mistaken it for a nest and poop in it!”_

“ _Shut up, Zabini.”_

 

“ _Potter!”_

“ _Oh no.”_

“ _Why'd they name you after Dumbledore? Obviously, you're not good enough to have a namesake like him! He must be rolling in his grave to know that you of all people were named after him!”_

“…”

“ _What, no answer? And you call yourself a Slytherin!”_

 

“ _Potter!”_

“ _Oh Merlin, not again!”_

“ _I bet your family hates you for being in this house!”_

“… _they don't!”_

“ _Really? I think your brother might say otherwise!”_

“ _Leave me alone, Zabini!”_

“ _Wish I could, Potter! But I can't!”_

 

“ _Potter!”_

“ _Leave me alone, Zabini, or I'll tell the Head of House!”_

“ _And what? Tell them that you're wimpy enough to tattle on a girl picking on you?”_

“…”

“ _That's what I thought!”_

 

“ _Potter!”_

“ _Zabini, you shut up and leave him alone or I'll curse you into oblivion!”_

“ _Rose…”_

“ _Merlin, Potter, you're so weak you let your goody two-shoes of a cousin defend you?”_

“ _'Goody two-shoes, huh? Locomotor Wibbly!”_

 

Her horrible voice echoes in his head, over and over again. It digs into his inner fears and screams them all out loud. The sound of her saying just his name is enough to make him want to run for it. But he's a boy. He can't run away from a girl. It's just not done. He has to put up with her, or the Chosen One's middle child will be known as the infamous wimp of Slytherin House.

 

Something changes between the two of them as the years pass. She sees how he is shoving his family away from them. But why would he? His family's much better than hers so why would he push them away? He's also becoming a bit like her: snappish, cold, and what else? _Angry._

The climax comes when the day before Christmas holidays in their fifth year. She comes to breakfast when the Head of House is passing out the sign-up sheet for those staying at Hogwarts for the break. She glances at it longingly, wishing she can put her name on it instead of going back to the hellhole she lives in. Because, honestly, not even her father could protect her from that monster of a mother.

He sits near her while talking animatedly with Scorpius. The frustration and longing builds up in her and she absentmindedly says, “Hey, Potter! Y –”

A growl emits from his throat, and he slams his fist on the table, catching everyone's attention. She nearly jumps off her seat in surprise. He never reacted like that before. But what he does next shocks – and scares – her even more.

He stands up and storms over to where she is sitting so he was standing right behind to her. Turning around and looking up at him, she flinches at the look of fury on his face. It's almost as frightening as her mother's. “Will you just shut up, Zabini?! I have just one more day to put up with you, and it's one effing day too many! I've had to put up with you and your shit for over four years, and I've had enough! You wonder why no one likes you? You're a bitch, and everyone knows it! I bet your mother died of shame because her daughter is one of the worst life disappointments to have ever existed!”

The word “mother” hits her right in the face just like every physical attack she endures from that woman. She hears her mother's voice sneering and shrieking the very things she fears everyone thought of her. She hears the sounds made from the things that made contact with her skin; the whacks, the slaps, the punches, the kicks, everything. She hears lights flashing as she is cursed, hexed, and jinxed in all the worst ways possible. She hears her own voice whimpering and begging and screaming and crying and moaning and groaning. She hears –

She hears the cries of a younger Albus Potter as he begs her to leave him alone.

And she runs away in tears.

 

“What the hell did you do to her, mate?” Scorpius says in amazement. “I mean, she got what she deserved, but how'd you get such a reaction from her?”

Albus looks at him in surprise as he inwardly smacks himself for sinking so low as to say what he said. “You mean, you didn't notice? Or suspect anything?”

Scorpius shakes his head in confusion.

 

It's a shock that no one notices the girl who always comes back to school with fresh bruises or a black eye. Then again, they probably just focus on the fact that she's a horrible person who shouldn't be given a damn. But the fact they don't realize is that the source of those injuries is a factor in why she turned out to be this way. And that is what Albus realizes. And that is why he leaves breakfast early and finds her out on the grounds near the Forbidden Forest sobbing into her robes out of humiliation, fear, loneliness, and worst of all – remorse.

 

“Zabini.”

She looks up to find him standing over her and jumps to her feet with her wand drawn. Despite that, her voice lacks energy and sounds dull and tired. “What are you doing here, Potter? Shouldn't you be in the Great Hall gloating over the fact that you finally got one over me? Well congratulations Potter! You can stand up for yourself now! Bloody finally!”

“…I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

She scoffs loudly. “Really? Because no one in this castle gives a damn about me, never mind you! And why should you care? I've made your life a living hell ever since the start of first year! You should be _glad_ that I'm upset!”

“I know what's happening at home.”

She freezes and stares up at him, her eyes wide with fear. No. There's no way he of all people knows. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

He narrows his eyes at her. “Oh really? Show me your arms. Bare.”

“No way.”

“Why not?”

“…”

A bitter laugh escapes him. “Now who's the one who can't come up with an answer? Let me see your arms, Zabini, before I make you.”

“I can't.”

Before she can even react, he suddenly lunges for her left arm quickly and grabs on tight. A screech of pain erupts from her as she tries to shake him off, but his grip is too tight for her to pry off and he pushes back her sleeve to reveal purple and yellow bruises decorating her olive-toned arms. Seeing the look of fear on her face, his eyes widen as he realizes what he is doing and lets go. She backs away from him in horror.

“I'm sorry,” he mutters quickly. “But what the hell did they do to you?”

 _She_ , she corrects in her head, panicking. _My father never did anything._

“You have to tell someone,” he says. “You've got to. You're not safe. You can't go home tomorrow.”

A look of fear crosses his face, but for once it's not of her. It's _for_ her.

 

They're sitting on a bed in the Room of Requirement. The room had converted itself into a replica of his bedroom back home, which is pretty nice as it's the bedroom of someone who has a bit of a likeness to her. It's the bedroom of a lonely Slytherin.

He's listening as she monotonously tells him about her home life. Her mother, her father, her misery, everything.

“My father never did anything to me,” she says. “He's honestly the only reason I don't run away. He can't leave her because the marriage contract is magically binding. They're stuck with each other. And neither of them like it. She doesn't care for him, but she _hates_ me. She takes advantage of the time he goes to work to make my life hell. She causes every single one bruise I get. And my black eyes. It's the only Muggle thing she likes – physical beating. It's just as effective as cursing me. The worst part isn't the Cruciatus Curse, though.”

He takes a sharp intake of breath at the Unforgivable, but she ignores it. “At least then, the pain is caused by her – just like always. The worst part is when she makes me hurt myself. With the Imperius Curse.”

“ _Imperio.”_

_The dreadful horrible feeling is immediately replaced with a serene blissfulness that is artificial yet relieving. A harsh voice breaks through and hisses, “Pick up that dagger and stab yourself in the leg multiple times. Then stab your arms. Then pick up your wand and cast the Cruciatus Curse on yourself.”_

_She does, and when the curse is lifted off her, she feels even worse than before._

“Some people think I'm cutting myself to get attention. They're half right. I'm cutting myself, but not to get attention. I don't even cut myself willingly. When you've lived with my mother your whole life, your will lessens and lessens until it disappears completely. Makes it easier for her to cast the Imperius Curse every single time.

“You know why I pick on you all the time? I'm jealous. Frustrated. You get this perfect life filled with loving people and expectations to do great things while I'm stuck with a monster of a mother who thinks you're nothing but a useless tramp who can only serve as target practice. Before I got my Hogwarts letter, she constantly called me 'squib.' I never showed any signs of magic because she beat it down so much it wouldn't reveal itself until I got my wand. When I went to get my wand at Ollivander's, I nearly made the store collapse with my lame attempts at wands that didn't choose me. My mother was so humiliated and angry she made me curse myself for the first time ever. And then it became a habit of hers as time went on.

“My father doesn't know what she does to me. As far as he knows, I'm 'dangerously clumsy,' as my mother puts it. He knows she doesn't like me, but he doesn't know the extent.”

He is silent as he registers the entire horror of it all. He can't believe it. How can anyone go through such a thing?

“You may pity me now,” she sighs, “but there is still the fact of what I did to you. I thought I was just bruising your ego, but I did a whole lot more than that. Just look at you. You're becoming like me.”

He nods. “The cycle continues.”

“Cycle?”

He groans as he flops onto his back. “It's a Muggle thing I learned. People who are abused tend to become abusers themselves.”

Her eyes widen in horror. “I don't want to become like that monster! I don't want my own daughter to be terrified of me!”

But it's too late, she realizes. She already did. She tormented Albus like her mother tormented her. What's next? Albus hurts someone else? She slumps her shoulders and falls forward so her face is buried in the duvet. What had she done?

“It's not too late,” he says. “I don't think it is. You realize that what you're doing is wrong, don't you? So stop. You can improve yourself. My grandfather was a bully during his adolescence and managed to mature enough to become Head Boy. If he can do it, why not you?”

She rolls onto her back, allowing him to see her tear-streaked face. Her voice cracks as she confesses. “I don't think I can, though. Your grandfather was a different case. He was spoiled; I was abused. It's not the same thing.”

He reaches for one of her hands and grabs onto it. “You can do it. I know you can. If the boy who you bullied believes you can do it, you can do it.”

She sits up and looks dully at him. Her dark brown eyes meet his emerald green ones. “I'm sorry. For everything.”

 

Despite their talk, she goes back home leaving him to promise that he won't tell anyone, especially his dad. It's horrible. More than horrible. This break will be known as one of the worst in Hogwarts history, not counting the days during the war.

 

She stands outside the weirdly-shaped house, shaking with grief-stricken sobs on Christmas Eve. Her wand shakes in her hand as she levitates a piece of parchment through an open window on the ground floor. Her broken left arm hangs down limply at her side. Her right eye is purple and aches dully. Her cheeks are heavily bruised. Her Hogwarts trunk is on the ground beside her filled with hurriedly packed clothes and supplies. She can't believe what had just happened.

 

He's in the living room with his entire family. Chatter fills the air as conversations are made and mixed together. His parents and siblings are glad to see that he is opening up a bit more and that he seems happier. He's currently talking with Rose and Scorpius when something floats through the window. Scorpius notices it first and gets up to grab it before coming back. “It's a note, guys. See? I think it's for you, Al.”

Both he and Rose lean over to read the contents:

 

_Potter,_

 

_I'm outside. Please come. Please._

 

_AZ_

 

“Who's AZ?” Scorpius frowns.

A dreadful feeling fills up his stomach as he realizes whose initials they are. “I'll be back, guys. Tell my parents I went out to get fresh air.”

“Wait, Al!”

Not even bothering to pull on a jacket, he hurries out the front door and down the path. He sees someone – a girl – standing in the road. Running faster, he reaches her in moments and nearly shouts in horror. “Merlin's fu – What the hell happened to you?!”

She doesn't respond but buries her face against his shoulder and wraps her unbroken arm around his neck, her body shaking with sobs. He nearly falls backwards from the sudden impact but manages to balance himself just in time. Hesitantly placing his arms around her waist, he whispers, “Oh Merlin, what happened?”

He is horrified as soon as she whimpers, “M-my f-father is d-d-d-dead.”

Her father. The only one in her life who cares about her. He's gone. He can't believe it. Now he understands why she ran away. The one thing that kept her at home is gone. She has no one else left – except for him.

What she says next, however, sends a chill up his spine. “Sh-she k-killed him.”

“Who?”

But he already knows.

“M-my m-mother.”

 

“OY!! I NEED SOME HELP HERE!!”

Murmurs rise from everyone as they stand up and look over to the front door as it is crashed open and he stumbles in carrying a girl who most of the kids already recognized, even with all the injuries. A trunk floats in behind them.

“What is she doing here?!” Rose cries. “How does she know where we are?”

“Never mind that, Rose!” Scorpius snaps as he stares at the pitiful state of his former friend. “What the hell happened to her?! She looks like she's been through an earthquake or something!”

“Grandma Molly! Aunt Hermione!” Albus groans as he staggers into the living room. “A little help, please? Dad! I need to talk to you now!”

“No…don't tell him,” the girl mumbles as she is laid upon the sofa.

Albus grimaced as he looked at her. “I have to, Alexa. I'm sorry.”

He leaves to go into the kitchen with his dad while Grandma Molly and Aunt Hermione immediately start working on the injuries.

“So the old cow finally did it, didn't she?” Scorpius says, his voice overcome with shock. “How did I not see this coming?”

“What are you talking about?” Rose demands, looking at him in surprise. “Who did what?”

Scorpius jerked his head towards the kitchen. “Al might be able to explain this.”

 

“What is it you want to tell me, son?” Harry asks as they sit at the kitchen table.

Albus takes a deep breath. “You know who that girl is?”

Harry shakes his head.

“That's Alexa Zabini.”

His father raises an eyebrow. “That girl who's been giving you a bit of trouble for a while now?”

“It was a lot more than that, Dad. Trust me.”

“What? Was she bullying you or something?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn't tell anyone?”

“The issue here isn't her bullying me. She won't be doing that anymore, I assure you. The issue is what led her to pick on me.”

“Which is?”

“…her mother's been abusing her. Physically and emotionally.”

Harry purses his lips together. It takes him a while to respond but he says, “Well, that definitely puts a perspective on things. How long?”

“Ever since she could remember.”

“What was done to her?”

“Physical beatings. Insults. Curses.”

“Were the Unforgivable Curses used?”

“Yes.”

“Which ones?”

“Imperius and Cruciatus,” Albus grits his teeth together as the anger inside him builds up. “She told me how the first one was used. You know how they say the Cruciatus is worse than the Imperius? They are so wrong.”

“What did her mother force her to do?”

Albus leans forward and hisses, “Her mother forced her to hurt herself. Alexa had been forced to _Cruciate herself_. According to her, she'd rather have her mother directly abuse her than to make her do it to herself! Resisting against the Imperius was always a no-go! And now she just told me that her mother killed her father!”

Harry widens his eyes. “Her mother killed her father?”

“Yes,” Albus seethes. “The only person in her life who actually gave an effing damn about her was killed right in front of her less than an hour ago! I want her to pay for what she did!”

Harry abruptly stands up and heads out the door. “I need to go to the Ministry and summon a few Aurors.”

“What for?”

His father looks at him with a grim look in his eyes. “To arrest Pansy Zabini for Unforgivable Curse usage, child abuse, and murder.”

 

Rose is in tears as soon as Harry leaves the kitchen. “Oh Merlin, that poor girl! How could anyone not do anything?!”

Scorpius doesn't respond as he contemplates the events that happened to his former friend. How did he not see it? How did he completely ignore the injuries she always had every time she came back to school? How did he not realize how unhappy she was? How did he –

How did he become such a horrible friend?

 

Albus looks over at the kitchen door. “I know you guys were eavesdropping.”

His two friends sheepishly come in through the doorway, Rose clinging to Scorpius as tears stream down her cheeks. Albus sighs. “You know everything?”

“Just what you said,” confirms Scorpius, his voice flat. “I feel awful. How could I have left her in the first place?”

“You were sticking up for a friend in need,” Albus says. “She doesn't blame you for leaving her. If her mother didn't hammer in enough self-hate for her, realizing what a horrible person she had been definitely did the trick.”

Scorpius puts his hands over his head as he sits down across from Albus. “I always knew her mother hated her. I didn't know how bad it was, though. I feel like kicking myself for not realizing it sooner.”

Albus shrugs. “We're Slytherins. We're good at hiding the dark secrets we possess. No one except you two noticed how detached I was becoming.”

Rose groans. “I feel like I should still be angry at her for making your life hell, but I can't. When I think of Alexa Zabini, I see a girl who's been broken, shattered, and thrown by one of the worst things life can give you. How can you hate someone who's been through that?”

Only when the cycle has been completed, Albus knows. But Alexa Zabini hasn't completed it yet and she may never.

 

She's close to passing out when she hears a woman's voice say, “I've got the emergency Dreamless Sleep Potion. Can you administer it to her, Molly?”

“Of course, dear,” an older woman says. “Dear girl, you can just gulp this down and you'll be fine for the night.”

And being too weak to do otherwise, she accepts the potion being poured down her throat and completely loses consciousness.

 

She spends the rest of the break at the Burrow where the entire Potter-Weasley clan (plus Scorpius, Victoire Weasley's husband Teddy Lupin, and James's girlfriend Lexi Jordan) is staying. Everyone there is shockingly nice, considering what she did to Albus for the past four years, but it's all out of pity. It's really suffocating so when they let her go to her father's funeral with Scorpius, it's a huge breath of fresh air. Her father didn't have that many friends so the only attendants there are the Malfoys, Greengrasses, Notts, her grandmother, and herself. It's a very solemn affair, and she can't cry until she goes back to the Burrow and crawls into bed armed with a Silencing Charm. As it is, the only person she can stand right now is Albus, and he has his best friends there with him pretty much all day so she has to put up with them too. At the end of the break, she's pretty comfortable with Rose and Scorpius (Scorpius especially since they used to be friends until school began) enough to call them friends and sits with all three of them on the train ride back to Hogwarts.

“You're getting famous, Alexa,” Rose says absentmindedly from behind the _Daily Prophet_. “Your mother's hit the headlines.”

“When it's the _Daily Prophet_ , I don't care what it says as long as I don't read it,” Alexa grumbles, lying across the seat with her legs propped up on Albus's lap. “Fame is not something that should exist because of your parents. You guys of all people should know that.”

The three exchange an uncomfortable look but agree. Albus's dad is the Chosen One, Rose's parents are part of the Golden Trio, and Scorpius's dad used to be a Death Eater. And then there's Alexa whose abusive mother killed her father.

“Do you know where you're going to live?” Scorpius asks concernedly. “I can ask my father to take you in. He won't mind having another mouth to feed. One of his good friends being murdered has been taking a toll on him.”

Alexa doesn't answer but turns so her back is facing him. Albus shoots Scorpius an irritated look. “No pity, Scorpius. No pity. No charity.”

“Sorry,” Scorpius mutters, his face turning slightly pink.

“Do you have any other family left?” Rose asks. “Normally, orphans are sent to live with relatives. Not always a fortunate case.”

Alexa groans. “Just my grandmother, and she's too busy finding the next bloke in her 'Marry and Murder' game.”

Rose and Scorpius both look at her in shock. “Really? I thought that was just a rumour,” Rose says, blinking.

Alexa shakes her head. “I've said it and I've confirmed it. The problem is, she's always able to seduce the majority of the Wizengamot into dropping the charges.”

Unfortunately, it seems to her that her grandmother will be the one taking her in. Joy.

 

“Alexa?”

She turns to find another girl from her house and year standing behind her. Lauren Nott. Scorpius's maternal cousin. Her twin brother Christian is in the same dorm as Albus and Scorpius. Lauren is nice when you think about it and she's a good Potions and Charms partner. They aren't friends, but they are very well-acquainted. “You want something, Lauren?”

Lauren holds up a folded piece of parchment. “My mother asked me to give this to you as soon as possible. It's a big shock, I warn you. But you won't have to go to your grandmother's during the breaks.”

She narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Why not? It's not like she's related to me, is she?”

Lauren doesn't answer but thrusts the parchment into her hands. “You can always come to me if you need to talk, you know. You can't cling to Albus Potter forever.”

As soon as she leaves, Alexa hesitantly unfolds the parchment. The contents are definitely not something she would expect:

 

_Dear Alexa,_

 

_I suppose you are wondering why a woman whom you have only met a few times before in passing is writing you right now, especially during a time like this. What I am about to say will explain many questions you have been having for the past several years._

_Your father was in love with somebody once upon a time. He still was until his untimely demise. That somebody unfortunately did not return his feelings and never will. Despite that, they slept together once and only once. They did not mean for it to happen; they were drunk from a party going on downstairs. But that single one-night stand led to the horrible drama that would continue to go on and on for the next several years._

_This woman he slept with got pregnant. Legally, they were supposed to get married because of that child, but the woman in question was already betrothed. Due to that, he was pushed into a marriage contract with another woman. I wish I knew the logic of that, but I do not. And as it was, the baby was born. Her mother, despite the shame of cheating on the one she was betrothed to, wanted to keep her but saw the pain and loneliness of the father and made a choice. She gave full custody of the baby to the father. But the father's fiancée was not happy with what was going on. She did not want a baby that reminded her of her fiancé's true feelings around the house. Her hatred built higher and higher, and she took it all out on that poor baby. Fifteen years later, she was overcome with rage and killed her husband right in front of her stepdaughter._

_Have you realized the meaning of this story? I can confirm it for you. The stepmother is Pansy Zabini née Parkinson. The baby is you. And the mother of the baby is –_

 

She stops reading for a moment, afraid to find out the truth.

 

– _me._

 

The parchment is crumpled into a ball in her hand as tears start falling down her cheeks. Her whole life has been a lie.

Her mother isn't Pansy Zabini née Parkinson.

Her mother is Daphne Nott née Greengrass.

What the hell?

 

“They lied to me.”

They're back in the Room of Requirement in the same room as last time. He's holding the crumpled parchment in one hand, staring at it as he re-reads it over and over again. She's sitting on the pillow, watching him with tears streaming down her cheeks. “How could they do this to me? She signed my father's death sentence! She gave me away to a life of peril! All because she felt sorry for my father! Whatever happened to effing joint custody?!”

He purses his lips together as he hands her back the letter and removes his reading glasses from his face. “And they say Slytherins plan ahead. What the hell is this mess? An engaged woman sleeps with another man, gets pregnant, and gives said man the baby because he was lonely? What were they thinking?”

A bitter laugh escapes her throat. “And now she'll take me back! Like I'll willingly go with her! Where the hell had she been all my life? I could've escaped my mo– Pansy years ago!”

He looks at her grimly. “The only bright side I see in this is that you don't have to go to your grandmother's.”

“At least my grandmother never lied to me.”

 

Lauren is full of apologies the next time she sees her. “Oh my Merlin, Alexa! I swear, I didn't know! If I did, I would've told you the moment I had the opportunity! All right, maybe not because you wouldn't have believed me, but still I swear I didn't know! It's awful! All of it! How could they do this to you? What the hell were they thinking?! It's a huge effing mess, I tell you!”

The two girls are up in their dormitory during a free period, sitting on Lauren's bed. “I mean, it's great to know that you're my half-sister and everything but the fact that they kept everything from you! That monster of a stepmother put you through so much, and you didn't even have to! If my mother had just _kept_ you, or shared custody with your father, things wouldn't have been so bad! You would've had a two siblings to protect you and everything! And –”

Alexa cuts her off. “I know. I get it. You didn't know anything. You're just as surprised as I am. You don't need to go on and on about it.”

“Sorry.”

“Does Christian know?

“He doesn't. I plan to tell him, though, if you're okay with it.”

“He _should_ know. He's my half-brother.”

“I'll tell him next time I see him, but I might need you as proof. He won't just take my word for it.”

 

Christian doesn't believe his sister at first until he sees the utter betrayal and grief on Alexa's face. “Oh Merlin. What the hell did they do?”

“Kept a gigantic secret for one and a half decades?” Lauren offers weakly.  
“Indirectly make my life a living hell?” Alexa grumbles, her fists clenched at her side. “No offence to you two, but I don't want to spend my breaks at your house.”

“None taken,” the twins chorus.

“But I think this can be the start of a beautiful friendship.”

 

She honestly doesn't know how she got through all her OWLs with all the drama that's been happening lately. But before she knows it, she's on the train ride heading towards a strange new place that's going to be home until she turns seventeen. It's strange, she muses, how she started the school year with barely any friends and then it only took a bit more than one term to gain five solid new ones. But as nice as they all are, the only one she really feels connected to is Albus. Despite the conflict and pain they went through during the previous years, neither of them can really survive without the other anymore.

 

Summer's as horrible as she predicts. Daphne (she refuses to call her Mother) tries hard to be as motherly as she can, and Theo (she feels sorry for him to be dragged into this whole mess) attempts to spoil her as much as his own kids. Their attempts are good, she admits, but the only people in the house she can stand are her half-siblings, and even they can't be seen as family in her own eyes.

At least, she isn't beaten every day.

But she still wants Albus.

 

Pansy's trial happens in August. She's really scared to be testifying in the same room as that monster. What if they don't find her guilty? Will she have to go back? She doesn't want to know what will happen to her if she goes back.

Theo takes her to the Ministry of Magic the day of the trial through the guest entrance. She's shaking like mad as her wand is checked for registration. She has to tell her story to hundreds of witches and wizards and be cross-examined by Pansy's attorney. The cross-examination will be by far the worst. She's going to be slandered and ridiculed in order to not be seen as credible. Oh Merlin. What if they succeed?

“If worse comes to worse, you'll always have a place with us,” Theo tells her as they entered the waiting room. “I don't want you anywhere near that woman anymore than you do, whether you legally live with her or not.”

She doesn't answer but stares off into space. “I know you're not that fond of us, and I don't blame you. It took Daphne years until she told me what happened. It nearly destroyed our marriage. But I would never treat you like Pansy did.”

That's right, she realizes. Theo is in the same position as Pansy once was. He's the stepparent of a child conceived from an affair who lives in his house. The only difference is that he knows that his wife truly loves him and is a much better person, despite his Death Eater parentage. As stated before, Alexa feels sorry for him.

“Alexa?”

She blinks and looks over. Albus is standing several feet away with his grandmother and his aunt Hermione. Albus. He's here. Barely able to contain her excitement she says, “What are you doing here?”

He jabs a thumb at his grandmother and aunt. “We got called in as witnesses. I was the first person whom you told about your abuse and saw you once you ran away, and Grandma Molly and Aunt Hermione were the ones who took care of your injuries.”

She nods and looks over at the two women. “Thank you for coming.”

“It's no problem, dear,” Mrs Weasley assures her. “That woman needs to be put away for what she did to you.”

Ms Granger nods. “I was in the same year as her during Hogwarts. She had been quite the typical mean girl in school, but I never expected her to turn out this way. It's simply awful.”

She nods and opens her mouth to say something else but is cut off.

“Alexa Zabini.”

She stiffens and her face goes blank. It's time. She's going to testify.

 

“Please state your full name for the court,” Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt says in his soothing low voice, looking at her over the parchment he's holding.

Her voice is flat and expressionless as she looks back at him. “Alexa Marie Zabini.”

“Please describe what the defendant did to you.”

“She has been abusing since I could remember. She physically beat me, insulted me with numerous names and lies, and cursed me.”

“Specifics?”

“She liked to whack me with a cane. She wore rings so whenever she slapped me hard across the face, I would have cuts and scratches as well as bruises. She called me a constant disappointment, Squib, whore, slut, bitch, Mordred's gift, etc. She cast numerous jinxes and hexes, but her favorites were the Unforgivables. The worst part was not when she Cruciated me but when she Imperiused me so I would hurt myself.”

Murmurs rise from the Wizengamot at the last part. “Order in the court, please! Miss Zabini, can you explain what happened to your father?”

“He came home early from work on Christmas Eve just in time to see my mother Imperiusing me to Cruciate myself. He was so angry he drew his wand and started aiming spells at her. She completely forgot about me and started duelling him. Then –”

She chokes down a sob as the image of her father's murder vividly flashes in her mind. “She Disarmed him. But before he could get back his wand, she aimed a _Sectumsempra_ at him, and it hit him in the throat. And then he just lay there dying while she turned back to me. The next several minutes were all a blur of spells and the next thing I knew, she was unconscious on the floor and I just ran for it. I summoned the Knight Bus and took it to the Burrow where I knew Albus Potter was staying.”

Tears are streaming down her cheeks as she bends over and buries her face in her damp hands. She doesn't want to see the Wizengamot's reaction to their story. The pity, the disbelief, the skepticism. It's too much to bear with.

“Miss Zabini.”

She looks up and wipes her eyes before seeing the redheaded woman who had spoken. Susan Bones. “If you do not mind, the Wizengamot would like to see your memories of these alleged attacks. Can you provide them for us?”

A silent nod from her leads to Madam Bones stepping down from her seat with her wand in her hand. Alexa flinches slightly. Adults holding wands are _not_ a good sign to her.

Madame Bones gently places her wand against Alexa's temple and pulls out shimmering strands that are dropped into a vial. “Thank you, Miss Zabini. Members of the Wizengamot and defence attorney, if you all will just come with me to the Pensieve.”

 

It's the defence attorney's turn to question her. “Those were very disturbing memories, Miss Zabini. Very convincing. Almost too convincing.”

“Get to the point, Mr McLaggen,” the Minister snaps impatiently, clearly agitated from the memories he had seen.

“Apologies, Minister,” McLaggen says with a slight smirk. Alexa glowers at him, itching to give him a good kick. “Miss Zabini, did you know that there is a way to tell if memories had been modified?”

“Obviously,” she bites out.

“So you are aware that we can find out if you made up this entire thing?”

“Yes. Which I did not.”

“Of course not. Now, Miss Zabini, were there any other witnesses to this alleged abuse other than you, your mother, and your father?”

“No.”

“So we only have _your_ word and _your_ memories.”

“Yes.”

“Interesting. Now you say that your father attacked your mother first?”

“Yes.”

“So she was defending herself.”

“He was protecting _me_!”

“So says you and your unverified memories. You _do_ know that murder is justifiable under self-defence, right?”

“If you had been paying attention, you would have heard me say that he was Disarmed before she slit his throat with a Dark curse!”

“And you attacked her afterwards, correct?”

“…I do not remember.”

“So it is possible that we can charge you with assault?”

“Am I the one on trial?”

“Possibly sometime later. No further questions.”

 

It's his turn to give his testimony now. Judging by how she had stormed out earlier, it seemed like the defence lawyer definitely riled her up.

“Please state your name for the court.”

“Albus Severus Potter.”

“How are you linked to the victim?”

“I was the first person she told about the abuse. She later came to me after she ran away from home.”

“Explain what had happened.”

“I started noticing fresh injuries on her every time she came back from break. She would have small bruises and sometimes a black eye. I didn't do anything yet because I was too focused on the fact that she was such a bi– er, a cow to me.”

“When did she tell you about the abuse?”

“Last December. I was fed up with her bullying and told her that her mother would die of shame because of her and then she ran out of the Great Hall crying. I then linked it to her bruises and went after her. I found her out on the grounds and confronted her about it. She denied it at first until I made her show her arms. They were covered with old bruises. We then went up to the Room of Requirement on the seventh floor and there she told me everything.”

“What happened after her father was murdered?”

“She levitated a note into the living room window from outside. My friend Scorpius Malfoy saw it come in and gave it to me. I went outside and found her all beat up with her trunk next to her. Her face was lumpy with bruises and one of her arms was broken. She was crying and nearly collapsed against me. I carried her inside and let my aunt and grandmother take care of her while I reported what happened to my father.”

“Why didn't you report it as soon as she told you about it?”

“She made me promise not to tell. The defendant told her that no one, not even the Ministry, could help her. She told me that if I told, she would be dead. She was very persuasive.”

“Can we see your memories?” Madam Bone asks, fingering her wand tensely.

“Please do.”

 

He's tempted to punch the defence attorney before he even starts the questioning. The cocky look on his face is extremely infuriating. It also doesn't help that McLaggen is a huge prick, according to his aunt and uncle. Of all the people Pansy's assigned to, it has to be him.

“You say that the alleged victim bullied you?”

“Yes, but not anymore.”

“So why did you help her in the first place?”

“It was the right thing to do.”

“So she did not coerce you or blackmail you into lying for her?”

Albus grits his teeth. “I am not lying.”

“Really? I have heard rumours about what she did to you. She terrified you, did she not?”

“…not exactly.”

“You hated her?”

“Yes.”

“But you still helped her?”

“I am a good person.”

“Even though you made her cry once?”

“I did not mean to. I did not know it was a trigger.”

“So for all we know, she is lying and you are helping her out of fear?”

“That is not –”

“No further questions.”

 

The Wizengamot finds Pansy Zabini née Parkinson guilty on all charges. She's sentenced to Azkaban for a life sentence. McLaggen will try for an appeal, but there's a very slim chance that he will win. Alexa has never felt so free in her life. Now she can try living a normal life.

 

The first day of school doesn't come soon enough. Even though it has been less than a month since they have last seen each other, it still has been too long. They break away from their families the moment they see each other and meet up halfway to engage in a very long affectionate hug. Their families watch, each person wondering when the wedding will be held because, honestly, it's hard for two people to not develop feelings for each other when they've been in a situation like they had. It's sweet in a sort of bittersweet way.

 

They kiss for the first time on Hallowe'en. He has been away from school the entire day and returns just before the feast, looking tired and worn out. Immediately, she rushes to see him, worry and concern filling her up. “Are you all right? Where have you been?”

He doesn't answer but grabs her hand and pulls her along up to the seventh floor and down the corridor towards the Room of Requirement. The room he requests this time isn't his bedroom but a cemetery. She shivers as she looks at the crumbling gravestones. Why are they here?

He takes her to a large statue of a couple holding a baby. Before she can read the inscription he says quietly, “Do you know what today is?”

She doesn't know. “Hallowe'en? Monday?”

He shakes his head. “My grandparents died today. Forty-one years ago.”

Oh.

 _Oh_. “That's awful. Were you visiting their graves today?”

“Yeah. Got to see my dad cry for the tenth time ever.”

“Tenth?”

“Every year on Hallowe'en. Ever since I was seven.”

“Oh Merlin. Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“What?”

“Distract me.”

“Distract –?”

She is cut off by his lips on her own.

 

The term flies by so fast she is shocked to be packed and ready to go to the Notts'. It's not the schoolwork that keeps her busy but him. Nothing changes between them since the kiss, but they don't talk about it either. She figures it's just a one-time thing anyway.

The train ride is faster than she remembers. Before she knows it, she, Albus, Scorpius, Rose, Lauren, and Christian are off the train and looking for their families. Well, _they_ are looking for their families; she is just waiting for her half-siblings to find their parents.

“I see them!” Lauren exclaims, waving her hand wildly. She and Christian separate from the group and head over to their parents. Alexa stays behind for a moment, however.

“Albus?”

“Yeah?”

“Is there any chance we can, you know, _see_ each other on Christmas Eve?”

Realization dawns in his eyes as he remembers what happened on that day a year ago. “Where do you want to go?”

“His grave.”  
He nods, his eyes serious and grim. “Meet me in the Leaky Cauldron at noon?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

 

They meet in the pub five minutes early, both anxious, nervous, and appropriately wearing black dress robes. Lauren, wearing a dark blue Muggle dress, comes along to Side-Along Apparate them to the Zabini Manor cemetery as she had turned seventeen a few weeks ago and earned her license. All three disappear from the pub and reappear among rows of gravestones. The Zabini family is an old family that travels back centuries into Italy. Alexa, along with her grandmother, are the last ones left.

“I'll be waiting at the gate until you're done,” Lauren says quietly.

Alexa nods silently and watches as her half-sister leaves the cemetery. Grabbing Albus's hand, she leads him to the last grave in the last row.

 

**Blaise Pascal Zabini**

**30 December 1979 – 24 December 2022**

**Beloved Father of Alexa Marie Zabini**

**An innocent soul**

**Ripped from life**

**Gruesome and sadistic**

**But as it is**

**The sole support he gave**

**Is still given in death**

 

“He was about to turn 43,” she says quietly, “and looking forward to it. As haughty of his looks he was, he looked really good for someone his age. Something else Pansy resented. The only time he truly looked bad was when he reacted to the fatal injury he sustained. The fear, the horror, the pain –”

She cuts herself off and buries her face against his shoulder, tears leaking out of her eyes again. He automatically hugs her tightly and allows her to cry on him. Once she manages to calm herself down she finishes her train of thought.

“ – the look of someone who knew they were going to die.”

 

They kiss for the second time once they have the opportunity to go back to the Room of Requirement when they go back to school. This time the room takes on the appearance of the Zabini Manor graveyard. They both know what's coming but don't bother to do anything about it. They both need it.

“I miss you,” she mumbles, staring at her father's “grave.” “I wish you could come home.”

Looking up at Albus with tired eyes she says, “Albus? Can you do me a favour?”

He knows what she wants but asks anyway. “What do you want me to do?”

“Distract me. Please.”

He does.

 

Love is a very twisted thing. All sorts of pairs fall in love. Friends, best friends, acquaintances, rivals, even apparently strangers as well. As it is, it's no surprise to anyone who knows them when it comes to the true nature of their feelings for each other. It's obvious after everything they had gone through.

Albus Potter and Alexa Zabini fell in love with each other.

 

“ _Merlin, just ask her out already!”_

“ _I can't.”_

“ _Why not?”_

“ _Because, Scorpius, it's not right. She doesn't like me anyway. I'm just her best friend.”_

“ _Why are you so blind?”_

“ _Because I'm not. Drop it, Scorpius.”_

 

“ _Will you just leave me alone, Rose?”_

“ _Not until you ask her out!”_

“ _What is it with you and Scorpius? We're just friends! Nothing more! Besides, she's not ready for a relationship.”_

“ _You're the only one for her, though!”_

“ _Am I?”_

“ _Yes! You understand her more than anyone else in the world! That's the important thing in relationships! Understanding each other! No one else other than you can love her like you do! Just do it!”_

“ _No. Drop it, Rose.”_

“ _Fine…”_

 

She doesn't believe it. Not at all. “No way. Not possible.”

“Yes!” Rose is positively squealing with delight. “After everything you've gone through, it's about time that something went right for you! He loves you!”

“Why doesn't he tell me then?”

“Because he thinks you only view him as a friend! He doesn't want to screw anything up!”

“…you realize he'll be really pissed at you?”

“…don't care.”

 

They're once again back in the Room of Requirement. For once, she chooses the room's appearance and now it's a beautiful grassy plain. When he asks her the inspiration of this scene she smiles and says, “My father used to take me here during the spring before I started Hogwarts. We'd sit and tell stories and laugh and all sorts of things.”

It's the first thing he hears her mention her father without sounding like she's going to break down in tears. “That's nice. What'd you want to talk about?”

She purses her lips together and makes solid eye contact with him. “Rose told me something really interesting today.”

“Really? What?”

“…she says you love me.”

He inwardly curses. Seriously, Rose?!

“Is it true?”

He opens his mouth to say no until she grabs onto both his hands and grasps them tightly. She looked up at him pleadingly, begging him. “Please don't lie. I've had enough lies told to me to last me a lifetime. Please.”

He gulps. Moment of truth. Moment of extremely risky truth. In a voice that is barely above a whisper he manages to push out one word: “Yes.”

She lets go of his hands immediately. He's about to apologize for ruining their precious friendship when she blurts out, “I love you too.”

The number of kisses they have had is shifted from two to three.

 

Sixth year ends with a metaphoric blast. As soon as the train ride home ends, six former sixth years hop off onto the platform. A bleached blonde girl is squabbling with her brunette twin as they search for their parents. A pale blond boy and a redheaded girl are talking academics while simultaneously trying to contain their blushing. And a black-haired boy with emerald green eyes leads his brunette girlfriend over to his parents and older brother. The redheaded woman smiles. “Who's this, Albus?”

“Mum, Dad, James,” he nods to his brother before breaking out into a smile. “This is my girlfriend Alexa.”

 

And the cycle doesn't complete.

**Author's Note:**

> This took me nearly three days to write and revise. This is something I am really proud of to have made so I'd really appreciate if you can write a comment. Kudos are welcome as well!


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